A Twilight Affair

There will come a time that you will meet a person that you didn’t expect will mean a lot to you aside from your family and your special someone. A person that you don’t know you will love equally (or less) as your special someone.

It started last May 06, 2010. I was supposed to be with my hubby since it was his birthday however he’s somewhere else (i don’t have any idea). I was so depressed at that time because he never text nor call me. I thought we have plans on his birthday, I even lied to my parents that I had work on that night. I was so excited prior to that day because it will be our 1st time to be together on his birthday (since it was my first “long-stay so far” job). I got so mad that I felt I was ignored and betrayed. I even had this feeling that he is seeing someone else. I did not text his mother to ask where the hell he is. To think that I already left our house not knowing where the hell am I going to spend the whole night.I was at the mall and I’m already planning where to spend the night when out of the blue I decided to text Vincent Eugene Narca Tubale or Uge for short (I’m the one who gave that pet name to him well i thought so). Along our conversation he ask me where am I and he’ll come over. I told him that I was in Glorietta (forgot if it’s 1,2,3,4). Well somehow I was really surprised ‘coz I never thought of any friend of mine that will be there (literally) for me. We’ve decided to have ACS (now known as Alorica) as our meeting place. We just left our bags in our locker room then we stroll along ayala. Afterwards we hang out at Starbucks near RCBC and then we noticed that it’s getting late. It’s okay for me ‘coz at that time I was planning to sleepover in ACS so I was worried about uge. However when we got to our company the guard wouldn’t let us in. He keeps on telling us that there are clients inside since it was US Airways Anniversary (our account). I just asked the guards permission to get our bags and we’re done.So when we had our bags no matter what we do we can’t go inside AGAIN due to what we are wearing (uge was wearing shorts and I was wearing sandals). He got worried about me since he knew my situation then. I keep on telling him that I’ll be fine until he MADE an idea. I don’t know how it happen that he come up with the idea of US sleeping in a motel. Is it because of the situation that I even AGREED?! Oh crap!! At that moment I wasn’t thinking of my hubby either.. maybe because I have a crush on him and my friend (sweet) knows it. It’s funny because we went to Pasay first but it’s full then we end up in RECTO!! then as we stroll in recto he held my hand and told me to get closer to him.. Maybe he was thinklng of the robbers within the area (‘coz it was really really late I think it’s almost midnight). I was so nervous at that moment. I keep on telling to myself that this isn’t right, this isn’t right I’m not supposed to be here, I’m supposed to be with my hubby then reality hits me; WHERE THE HELL IS HE??? When we already had the place as we approach the room, still Im FREAKING nervous. I know that uge is a decent guy so he’ll do no harm to me.We had chit-chat first maybe to calm ourselves (hehe) then he turned off the lights because we’re both getting ready to sleep (as I guess so). I know that he had a “third-eye”. I got scared when he told me that he saw ghosts within the area but not inside our room so i asked him to turned the lights on, so he pressed the one beside our bed. As I’m about to sleep, he called me and asked me if he could kiss me… What the?! did I hear it right?! He wanted to kiss me?? Maybe silence means yeas ‘coz he started kissing me (smack first). I got so shocked so I pushed him the we acted as if nothing happened. Maybe I’m into the situation that I didn’t change my position. The he kissed me again… Oh crap!! it wasn’t just a smack it is really a KISS… I keep on asking myself what was happening?! Heck!! Am I that desirable or attractive to this guy? or he’s just taking advantage of the situation.. Then he stopped.. we stopped.. still acting as if nothing happened Really beyond that nothing happen. Well I just got a “kissmark” ‘coz he bit my upper lip aside from that nothing happn.. I know something is going on between us. We became more closer. It’s like UNOFFICIALLY YOUR’S thing…

The reason I said it’s like UNOFFICIALLY YOUR’S thing was that we have something that I can’t explain. Whenever we see each other all that matters is US. Whenever I’m with him I forgot that I’m not single anymore, I forgot everything, I forgot my hubby. Days had passed and I know that my hubby can sense something is going on between Uge and I. One afternoon uge texted me and asked where I am. I told him that I’m with my hubby but if he wants to see me I can make an alibi to go to Makati and so what I did. But my hubby can sense that I’m just making an alibi. As we approach the place where I work, my hubby told me that he saw Uge and I just said ok. He even told me that maybe I really don’t have a work on that afternoon and maybe I was just making an alibi. I told him if he want he can ask my superior, but of course hoping that he will not. I’ve waited for a couple of minutes first before I meet Uge downstairs. When I saw Uge he told me that he also saw dennis (my hubby) and he noticed that dennis seems to be mad at him. I just told him that dennis is jealous of him (guy thing). We just talked about everything, anything then we stroll along Makati then ended up in Greenbelt. As the night goes by, he noticed that it’s getting late and he brought up the “issue” again. Yes, indeed, we’re going to sleep in a motel again. I agree to his decision knowing that it will not going to happen again but I was wrong. Still he asked and silence means YES for everyone right? He started kissing me and I noticed that the kiss was getting deeper and his hands is starting to roam around. When his kiss went to my twins and his hands on my thighs that’s the time that I pushed him. I don’t know what to say.. It’s ALMOST!! If I didn’t pushed him it might gone too far… He said sorry for doing that and he thanked me for pushing him ‘coz he don’t know what to do if it happened. He has a girlfriend and I have a hubby and a daughter (then). We just decided not to talk about it and just take a rest. But I can’ t sleep thinking that it’s almost.. I know he’s thinking about it too ‘coz I can feel his breathing so I know he’s not yet asleep. He’s just hugging me tight. After that he everything is still the same as if nothing happened…

He is like my bestfriend. He is always there for me and so am I. We’re always there for each other. It’s like give and take So whenever he request something as long as I can give. One day he requested for a treat so I treat him in glorietta it was supposed to be a movie but since it will be late if we watched a movie so he decided that we just eat . Afterwards we had a walk along Ayala, Makati we’re just hanging around then I decided to take a smoke. I know that he wanted me to quit smoking but maybe at that time he just let me. What surprise me most was when he took a “sip”. Then afterwards he blew on my face and ask me if he smell (‘coz he will be meeting up with his gf and she might get mad if she found out) and I said no. Then he kissed me and asked if he smell and I said no. I was really shocked because he kissed me again.. After that incident I asked one of my close friends about what is happening between the two of us. I’m starting to get confused of the situation because we are good friends however with his actions it seems like we are FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. But I don’t want us to be like that especially if we are both serious with our own relationships. My friend wants me to ask him but I don’t like, good thing that he resigned from our work since he wanted to pursue his dream.. to be a DJ. I know he doesn’t want to pass the opportunity..

I know that we’re still going to be good friends… We are still going to be there for each other no matter what. And this will remain a special experience that I will never ever forget..

Season of the Witch

I don’t know where and when it started but I just felt it. Is it because you’re being too harsh on me, especially right now? Or is it maybe, I must admit, that somehow we have similarities..

I know that what I’m feelin’ right now, or until the day comes, is not right because still I need to respect you ‘coz that’s what you’ve tought us. But there will really come a time that I hate your guts. You always feel, and you really have that confidence, that YOU are always right. That you know everything well HELL not everything. Why is it hard for you to let other people shine..? Your time is ticking and PLEASE let others grow up.. let ME grow up.. I have my own family that I need to build, to take care of but you’re not letting me. I know my hubby is not a perfect guy but who the hell is perfect? Only GOD is… I hate it when you’re the one who wants to control my life. I’m not a baby anymore.. I’m not the little girl you used to know and cradle with.. I can say that I much closer to papa than to you… I can say that 70% of my genes is from him and 30% is from you.. I just hope that one day you will understand my situation.. that I’m already grown up.. that I’m already a lady… that I’m also now a mother..

Marriage

Married or not… you should read this.

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Rebirth

I finally retrieved this account!! :)